Phoenix

I’ve spent the weekend at home. I text my choir buddy yesterday morning to see if she was up for singing at a food festival today. When she replied last night that she felt unable to go due to her nerve pain I breathed a sigh of relief.

I had really wanted to go, but wasn’t feeling like I had enough spoons. The skin on my nose has flared severely after travelling to the hospital and back on Wednesday. It does nothing for my confidence to have a large yellow welt running the length of my nose. I didn’t fancy sitting on my boil in a car for the forty minute drive either! Also our two newest songs were on the set list and I haven’t practiced enough to feel confident yet. I was grateful to spend the day at home.

I haven’t been sleeping well because of my skin condition. When I do sleep I have strange dreams. I seem to either haunt the halls of Victorian looking hospitals or I am constantly saying another goodbye to my mum. She died of breast cancer four years ago. Is she visiting my dreams for a purpose…I haven’t figured it out yet

There’s been other strange moments. A few days ago a wood pigeon was sitting on the satellite dish outside my balcony. When I looked out it seemed all out of focus a bit like I was seeing double. It happened again today when it was perched on the balcony railing. Then a collared dove scared it to the other side. The collared dove was completely in focus, but the wood pigeon still appeared all fuzzy and double even though it was sitting somewhere different? Then as I was turning my guitar I realised that the D string was causing a reverberation in my singing bowl. I sit in the same place each day to play guitar and this has never happened before. After a minute or so it stopped happening. The singing bowl stayed quiet throughout my hour of playing. How strange?

Monday again tomorrow and I have to be up early for my support worker. I may also have to contact dermatology as I think I am having a reaction to the new high dose steroid ointment which is so frustrating as I thought I’d at least start getting on top of one skin problem.

I wonder where I’ll travel in tonight’s dreams?

Phoenix