Phoenix

So I had my four days of rest. I still don’t feel rested. I haven’t slept well at night. If it’s not my skin condition waking me up, it’s my cat. She has been waking me up throughout the night. It’s seems she is still really unsettled since losing my other cat. She has become very clingy. I’m hoping with time she will settle down.

I’m hoping for a positive outcome at the dermatology appointment on Wednesday. I found a sizeable lump during my bath last night but I think it’s related to my skin condition? There’s always one more thing to stress over.

Today I managed to get up at 7,30am and be ready for my support worker arriving at 9am. We went over to the house I’m looking after for my choir buddy. My other friend arrived as he was leaving. We had planned to spend the day there together and brought food for lunch. She stayed in the garden doing her art work. I spent most of the day playing music.

I started by tuning up my friends deceased husband’s acoustic guitars. They haven’t been touched since before he passed away. There was something very poignant about picking his guitars up and filling their home once more with their resonance. I felt deeply respectful of handling the instruments that once brought him joy. As I played I looked out the window over the fields. I then spent about an hour playing on my midi keyboard. The peace and quiet and the calmness there is certainly conducive to enjoying the experience of playing instruments. I’m looking forward to composing my own pieces there.

While we were having lunch one of the two goats in the next field leapt over the dividing fence into an area he’s not supposed to be in. It had lush green grass which he spent hours nibbling. When playing the guitar I saw a guy come and lift the goat back into the field he had escaped from. He curled up and went to sleep, his tummy full of delicious grass from the forbidden side of the fence, it made me smile.

Also while taking out the second acoustic guitar to tune it, I thought a plectrum had fallen on the floor but instead it was a really fascinating dead moth. Apparently it’s a day moth called a Jersey tiger. I’ve never seen one before. It was fascinating.

It’s been a gentle day. Breathing in the energies of a calm and peaceful setting. Doing my best to not let the anxiety of new lumps and symptoms drag me down. I shall take those peaceful energies to bed with me tonight.

Phoenix