Phoenix

I don’t deal well with change. Which is rather unfortunate as life is a series of changes. Of plot twists and sharp turns. Up one mountain and down the next.

I think that is why I like things where they are in my home. Don’t look in the cupboards or wardrobes though, they hold the chaos, but I think that’s pretty standard for a lot of people.

The things I use most stay in the same place. When I’m at home all day the same routine is in place. The morning routine which my cat is well versed in. The bed gets made immediately, any dishes from the night before are washed and then the cat gets her breakfast. She sits and wait patiently watching me go through my routine, because it’s part of her routine too.

As I said in an earlier post this week I brought the egg chair in from the balcony. It took two days to slowly move the furniture around to make room for it in the computer room. The fatigue makes bigger jobs a slow process. Also the swelling in my upper left quadrant is getting bigger. I’m pretty certain it’s a hernia but I’m not seeking medical assistance. So I’m very mindful about lifting heavy stuff. That really frustrates me. I feel strong enough to move heavy stuff but not physically well enough. There were a couple of heavy items to move and I had in be creative so I could move them safely, or as safely as possible.

I’m still getting used to the absence of the chair on the balcony and the addition of it to the computer room. Neesha keeps wandering in there and checking out the new layout. She doesn’t like change either.

It may seem so minor to anybody else. Change feels unsafe. I think that’s why we watch a lot of reruns on tv. There are no surprises, it’s safe and comfortable.

This comfort in the familiar has an impact on my learning. Sounds daft I know. I’m constantly learning new things on all my instruments but I have to really push myself to step away from the familiar comfortable things I’ve already established on my instruments. Push myself to play more challenge chords and rhythms. I look back at my progress and it’s getting easier to break away from the comfortable and put my knowledge into trying out new things.

I still don’t like change though. I don’t think I’ll ever change that!

Phoenix