Phoenix

I had already decided on Wednesday night that I would not be going out for four days. On Thursday my choir buddy asked me if I wanted to go somewhere this weekend and I declined. Today the hospital phoned to arrange an appointment for the ultrasound on my hands and wrists. She offered me an appointment this Sunday at a hospital 15 miles away. There was no hesitation in declining. I have not enough spoons to manage a 6 bus round trip on a Sunday service to a hospital I really don’t like! So I now have an appointment at my local hospital on 25th October.

My skin is still flaring badly and the fatigue is hitting hard. Last week I had started taking the vitamin supplement Berocca. After a few days I felt better mentally and believed it was making a difference. Unfortunately by day six I was severely constipated. As the supplement was the only change I had implemented I started to do some research. It turns out I should avoid it altogether. As I have a mass in both kidneys and am on 2000mg of metformin daily my kidneys can’t process the stuff used in the vitamin supplement that makes it effervescent. As my kidneys are already compromised and also have work more because of the metformin this means I dehydrate quicker. Throwing Berocca into the mix was too much for body to handle. Things have returned to their usual state since stopping it on Monday. I was quite frustrated as I had found something that I thought was making a difference mentally.

I know my anger is more about the fact that the supplement was an easy option. I know that if I could do better with my eating habits I would achieve the same if not better results. Food is hard work, it’s a chore. I don’t eat enough fruit and vegetables. I tend to have an attitude of, if my alters are prepared to eat something then I’ll eat it, but it’s not the healthiest choices.

I think that’s part of what this weekends hibernation is about. It’s not just the fatigue and the skin condition it’s about diving deep to work through this issue of nutrition and how I can help my body by eating better. There are alters who need convincing and reassurance. Hibernation and rest is what I need so we can do the things we need and want to do next week.

Phoenix