Phoenix

A new week and the wealth of noise continues. Monday morning blues as the workmen next door arrived at 8am and got cracking with the hammers. Neesha had already woken me up at 6.30am and I did have nice early morning cuddles.

I had to be up early anyway as my support worker was arriving at 9am. Over the last week I have been looking out at the egg chair on the balcony. Over the stormy weekend I thought why am I letting it languish out there in the bad weather when I could be enjoying it indoors. I knew it was unwise to try and manage the task myself. As soon as my support worker arrived we got straight down to the task of moving it from the balcony to the computer room. I was right I would never have managed it alone. Once we got the chair in the room I abandoned positioning it properly as I had promised to head over and check out the house for my choir friend in Ireland. Due to the high winds at the weekend I wanted to make sure her home was ok.

As soon as we arrived I breathed a sigh of relief at the silence and the calm. Everything was fine inside and outside the property. I got the kettle on and we settled in the conservatory with coffees and looked out over the fields. I let the tension slide out of my body. Even the three low flying Chinooks that passed over head couldn’t spoil the bliss.

We stayed for an hour before I returned to my chaotic environment. As soon I got home I tried to ignore the intense hammering by moving the furniture around to accommodate the Egg chair. I’m really happy with its position in the room. I can chill out in it and look out at the trees. Come next summer it can return to the balcony.

The noise is really getting me down. It was so bad this afternoon I felt physically sick. I’m so tempted to take Neesha and move into my choir buddies house. I haven’t completely ruled out the idea.

I’m tired. I just want the energy and the peace and quiet to study. I’m not getting either and it’s pissing me off. I need to stay off social media and avoid the news. All this talk of war and the age of conscription and making sure the public is prepared for disaster is so depressing. It’s like the powers that be cannot scare monger enough. Keeping everyone in a state of fear. I don’t want to play their games. Instead of prepping for war why can’t we be working toward peace. How about stopping throwing money at defence and direct it towards finding solutions? That just doesn’t seem to be in human nature. I need to stop this depressing dialogue within myself. It’s really not helping me mentally or physically.

There has to be a better way?

Phoenix