Tag: Poetry
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Folding
Folding inside myself Folding away Away from the world I don’t trust the world I don’t trust me Don’t trust me Promises rusting Emotions turning To stone No moonbeams The stars Blinking out One by one I’ve been here before Falling Burning Turning to ash The rebirth Harder Each time I’m folding Into myself Folding…
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Be In The Moment
Be in the moment This moment now Not the last moment Or the future moment Be present in this moment With whatever this moment brings Be it Happiness Sadness Love Grief Pain Overwhelm Underwhelm Pride Guilt Shame Ecstasy Doubt Exhaustion Let every emotion Every reaction Every feeling Every sensation Have space to be In this…
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Tears of relief
Stillness Silence Bliss Shades of grey in the sky As clouds pass by. Breathe in deep Allow us to weep Stillness Silence Bliss Phoenix.
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Unraveling
Thoughts & feelings, Like tangled string. The knots pulled tightly, Picking and tugging, Trying to unravel, All those, Thoughts and feelings. But only succeeding, In tying, Myself in knots! Phoenix.
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A letter to the Moon
Dear Moon. I am saddened, It’s seems humans, Just can’t stop, At destroying, Mother Earth. Now they are, Crashing, Their space junk, On your surface. The latest, An accident, They say. But it’s been done before. Experiment they say, Cause and effect, Zero respect! And my blood boils, At their disconnect. Their shameful action, Has…
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Patterns
Patterns, patterns, Repeating patterns Over and over Round and Round The patterns go Patterns of old Same story retold Patterns of old Strong and bold Same pattern again Bringing the same Pain Phoenix
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Hmm?
Where oh where, Did my spiritual spark go? The faint light, That can’t seem to grow. Lines of energy, Thoughts of home. My spiritual light, Has left to roam. No comfort here, Stuck in the 3D. The darkness coming, No room to see. Clinging to threads, Of a past Divine. But still my light, Refuses…
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Rest in peace.
Your head, hot, and heavy, Tucked into my armpit. My arms holding, The curve of you. My fingers buried, In your sweet soft fur. The scent of you, Filling my nostrils, One last time. My chest draped, Over your aching body, My heart pouring All my love, With every heartbeat, As you left this world.…
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How?
How do I hold onto hope? In the midst of hopelessness. How do I hold onto the light? When swirling in so much darkness. How do I believe we are all one? When humanity is so divided. How do I keep living? When it feels like death is around every corner. Diving deeper… With shallow…
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Glitching
The tiredness Sits heavy In my body My mind In turmoil My heart Exploding The weight Sitting on My shoulders My chest My soul Another glitch In the Matrix Where Am I Now? Phoenix
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Gratitude to Water
The sun is high Hot hot hot. Stuck in traffic, Our journey extended by an hour. Sweating in a full body swimming costume. Am I allergic to the sun? My forehead is already blistering! Torn between going home, Or pressing on. Sunlight is good, Blisters are not! Damn whatever this is, Going on in my…
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(E)ddie (A)te (D)ynamite (G)ood (B)ye (E)ddie
I slip your strap around my neck My thigh nestles in your curve I pull the body of you into me My thumb rests on the back of your neck My fingers curl around your strings Plucking each one Listening for the right tuning Gentle turning of pegs A little tighter on this one A…
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Waiting to return to the Whole.
I come from the stars. Did I know what was before me? Did I know, did I know, When I put my hand up for this journey. There was a plan A plan? But I’ve no clue what it could be, I’m just riding the highs, And all the lows, On this journey, I have…
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Illusion or Delusion?
What is real? What is not? Is this all an illusion? Or simply a delusion? Touch it Feel it Is it true? What is true? That feeling Is it solid? If it slips through your fingers Was it ever really there? Is anything we see true? What are we really seeing? A trick of the…
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My Mask
My Mask It doesn’t scream When loudness overwhelms It’s doesn’t retaliate When my heart hurts It doesn’t slip When the pain is unbearable It doesn’t cry When I’m sobbing inside It doesn’t grimace When I feel overwhelmed My mask smiles Even when I’m exhausted My mask is invisible And therefore, So am I!
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Who Am I?
I am night and day I am the beginning and the end I am healing waters and the fires of hell I am peace and chaos I am rising and drowning I am the certainty and the doubt I am the laughter and the tears I am the pain and the pleasure I am the…
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Dear Mum
Dear mum You would have been 85 today I wonder where you are now? I’ve just got out of bed, Thunder is crashing across the sky. Is that you in the rumbling? Are you listening to my pain now? I look out the window, A small soft white feather drifts past. The rain has arrived,…
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Life is too confusing. Love is too painful.
I remember that scared space Together That We used to climb into Together A place outside of the 3D Together A place outside of our individual stresses Together Where we were in the moment. Together We held each other in compassion Together We rode the stars Together We held each other in love Together It’s…
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Choose Silence
The less I feel heard The more I shout to be heard The more I shout to be heard The angrier I become The angrier I become The more I am dismissed The more I am dismissed The more triggered I get The more triggered I get The more silent I become The more silent…
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The Storm Pitter patter slide Pitter patter slide The rain cascades faster down the windows Flashes so bright The lightening momentarily blinds me The rumbling thunder overhead shakes the sky, the earth, the building I feel the vibration of the roaring sky First deep in my chest Then it ripples out through my torso My…
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Worth?
Caught up in the 3D, I’m unable to see me. Look into my eyes, my eyes, My heart aches and cries. My truth fails to flow, Where does my voice go? My heart cracks a little more, Is my worth behind the next door? Musician, writer, poet, lover, My worth is still not uncovered. Mask…
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The Blank Page
I can talk and talk I can babble and gaggle Witter and blabber Drone and bore Yet I can’t find my voice I want to write my story The words fail to flow Create a language From the images in my head But the words Are jammed inside And left unsaid I sit before the…
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Push and Pull
The busy thoughts of my ego and alters Can feel confusing and overwhelming Trying to untangle what is trauma And the reality of now I am safe I am loved But My mind screams What if you are not? I am safe I am loved I am enough But My mind screams What if you…
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Stopping
The value of stopping Is rarely appreciated In the chaotic world In which we live The value of the silence The stillness The gentle witnessing Of our thoughts Both in the Shadow and the light Of truly feeling Each emotion Both painful and joyous . Of letting ourselves be What we need to be For…
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The chaos of noise
I believe I have become more adept at negotiating the triggers of noise. My ears are highly sensitive. I still get upset and overwhelmed by extreme noise. It’s distressing because it hurts, and the overwhelming experience tends to affect my entire body not just my ears. I believe at the moment I have a virus.…
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Awakening
I am awakening Learning Unfurling Uncurling No more stasis No more numbness No more silencing Blocking Ignoring I am listening Feeling Seeing Witnessing The light was always poring in Now I am aware of it Now I am aware of me Aware of those inside Seeing them Feeling their pain Their tears wet on my…
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I Am
I am the light, I am tired, I am hurting, I am angry, I am sad, I am filled with all the words unsaid. I am drowning in the tears not yet shed. I am weighed down by my fears. I am exhausted by the pain. I am weary from manifestations of injuries past. I…
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Crowded
Wandering through the city streets A throng of strangers faces passing by Chatter and laughs loud voices fill the air Feeling invisible as I wend my way onward Like a salmon swimming upstream I am walking against the tide of bodies Zig zagging in and out of the crowd There’s a myriad of thoughts Stumbling…
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Moving home.
Six days ago I moved into a new home in a new city. I have been desperate to move from my old home. I was sad to leave it in some ways. There’s been major changes in myself in the sixteen years I spent there. I am happy to have moved. There has been quite…
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Courage
C Caring about myself O Opening my mind and my heart U Understanding my triggers R Respecting my needs A Accepting myself G Gentle encouragement E Evolving through my journey Self care can be a huge hurdle when our mental health is poor. Negative self talk, beating ourselves up when things aren’t going great, demanding…
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Stardust
I keep contemplating the fact the I seem constantly drawn to quantum physics and the universe seems to be pulling me in different directions. Stepping in and out of my inner wisdom and just doing my best at every turn. During a meditation this evening this poem came to me. We Are Made Of Stardust…
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Family?
I’m traversing through some difficult things at the moment. It’s almost midnight and I can’t sleep. Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed myself finding it difficult to listen to comedians or watch TV shows all extolling the ups and downs of family life. I’ve never felt I’ve really experienced family life and…
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Anger
The red mist is a swirling storm Piercing and stinging like a thousand thorns Sometimes it erupts and I’m not aware Just how wild it’s raging from all parts there Every spiritual notion is mocked and jeered Rational reasoning is hated and feared And me well I get tired of the ongoing fight Of trying…
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I Can Breathe
Are you aware of your breath Do you notice the rise and fall As you inhale then exhale For decades I was blinded By the depth of my trauma To the fact that I am not breathing Even medics where blind Treating me from infancy For Asthma For sleep apnea For chest infections They also…
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I am Free I am Love
From Dawn until Dusk I’m no longer a shell or a husk From Dusk until Dawn I’m no longer just their pawn In the light shining my own self Not waiting to be taken from the shelf In the dark I’m sovereign and divine No more waiting for hands that are unkind I am now…
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I was always enough
I wrote this poem this evening as I lay on my sofa contemplating my day. I started this blog to write about my healing journey. I haven’t got as far in my writing as I would have liked but I recognise how difficult last year was for myself and my system. I am also recognising…
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Who Am I
WhoWho am I?I am PhoenixI amWho?PhoenixCan’t I be seen?I am PhoenixI look at my reflectionYet again I’m not sureWho’s that looking back?Uncertain unsureIs that me?I am PhoenixAm I?Who says?MeI sayI am PhoenixTrying to hold onto meWho am I?Shape shiftingI want to be meI am PhoenixPhoenix I wrote this poem, just after I wrote the blog…
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Against The Flow
Swimming constantly upstream Against the cold and sweeping currents Arms and legs tired and heavy Struggling to keep my head up Trying for a breath as my nose lifts Stop fighting the flow Instructs the world around me How when where I need to be is upstream Relax into it instructs the universe Close my…
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Left Foot Right Foot
Left foot right foot. Heart beating faster. Left foot right foot. My lungs expanding. Left foot right foot. Filled with cold night air. Left foot right foot. The breeze in my hair. Left foot right foot. River runs by my side. Left foot right foot. Running against the tide. Left foot right foot. Don’t slow…
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Space To Grieve
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. Life has been a bit of a rollercoaster over the past few months, but things have settled down for the moment. As I continue on my healing journey feelings ebb and flow constantly. New alters are still coming forward with their experiences and pain. This quite often…
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Rebirth Death Rebirth.
I am a Phoenix My feathers keep me safe A plumage of protection Then memories unfold My feathers fall to the ground Exposing my skin, my soul To the searing heat of pain and truth Sometimes a memory strips all the feathers And I burn in the fire of trauma. Again I have no choice…
Phoenix 