Tag: hurt
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Lone Wolf
Lone wolf mode was activated Now it’s the default setting Probably for the best Don’t share Don’t tell Hold myself Hold my system Ride the storms alone Howl at the moon In solitude Have questions Ask myself Decisions need making? Leave them to the lone wolf There is only the lone wolf To let the…
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Secrets.
Words and memories run through my mind, They don’t erode with the passing of time. The secrets I hold and must never say, Remain in my heart night and day. Don’t hold them close nor so tight, Feelings don’t let go without a fight. Wrap them gently and store them in a box, Seal it…
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Confusion?
What is this? On Tuesday I was convinced I was coming down with the flu. This isn’t the flu! This is the same pattern that has been plaguing me for the last two years. Is this an autoimmune flare up? Is this how things are going to look like for the rest of my life?…
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Singing My Songs
Sad songs, deep songs, love songs Singing out my sorrow, Sing them all again tomorrow. Sing out my songs, Scream out my wrongs… The sky is falling in, Let the music play my sins. In my heart the thunder roars, My body always keeps the score. I ain’t going down without a fight. Through the…
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Mysterious pains!
I had been slowly pottering around this quiet Sunday morning. Watering the plants. I put a couple of loads of washing on. Played with the cat. No out of the ordinary symptoms just the usual things. My ASDA delivery arrived just after 1pm. The delivery guy drags three crates up the 28 steps to my…
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Fatigue
As I sit here listening to calming cat music on Spotify my body aches with the fatigue. The music isn’t for me, my cat seemed unusually frightened of the thunderstorm we just had. She hasn’t quite adjusted to the loss of my other cat. I don’t think either of us have. Plus my four days…
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Quiet Sunday?
This is the second Sunday in a row where the day hasn’t gone to plan. Last Sunday I had the extreme pain in my calf and couldn’t bear weight on my left leg by the late afternoon. Today I wanted a quiet day of reflection. There is not a lot of quiet time at the…
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Unraveling
Thoughts & feelings, Like tangled string. The knots pulled tightly, Picking and tugging, Trying to unravel, All those, Thoughts and feelings. But only succeeding, In tying, Myself in knots! Phoenix.
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A letter to the Moon
Dear Moon. I am saddened, It’s seems humans, Just can’t stop, At destroying, Mother Earth. Now they are, Crashing, Their space junk, On your surface. The latest, An accident, They say. But it’s been done before. Experiment they say, Cause and effect, Zero respect! And my blood boils, At their disconnect. Their shameful action, Has…
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Enigma or miracle?
Every day there are symptoms. Last Friday I went with friends to an open day of a Big Cat Sanctuary. We had booked a couple of months ago. The problem with booking in advance is I never know how unwell I will feel day to day. I was excited about going, but apprehensive due to…
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Where’s the positives?
It’s been a stressful few weeks. It’s been eleven days since my cat died and the grief is still hitting hard. I made a memorial frame tonight. The vet made a copy of his footprints and took a clipping of his hair. He is greatly missed. I finally had my rheumatology appointment on the 23rd…
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Hmm?
Where oh where, Did my spiritual spark go? The faint light, That can’t seem to grow. Lines of energy, Thoughts of home. My spiritual light, Has left to roam. No comfort here, Stuck in the 3D. The darkness coming, No room to see. Clinging to threads, Of a past Divine. But still my light, Refuses…
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Time Distortion
Time in the inner world and for alters seems so different to the supposed linear time on the outside. Time in the inner world is fractured, distorted, warped. In terms of grief and loss it’s a complication, especially with so many alters inside. Alters who are relatively aware of the here and now but pop…
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Grey Skies
The grey skies outside match my mood this morning. It’s been less than 24 hours since my beautiful cat Rocket died in my arms at the vets. He deteriorated overnight on Thursday, and I had to make the difficult decision to end his suffering. I am beyond heartbroken. He came to us at 6 weeks…
