Tag: Mental Health
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I was always enough
I wrote this poem this evening as I lay on my sofa contemplating my day. I started this blog to write about my healing journey. I haven’t got as far in my writing as I would have liked but I recognise how difficult last year was for myself and my system. I am also recognising…
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Who Am I
WhoWho am I?I am PhoenixI amWho?PhoenixCan’t I be seen?I am PhoenixI look at my reflectionYet again I’m not sureWho’s that looking back?Uncertain unsureIs that me?I am PhoenixAm I?Who says?MeI sayI am PhoenixTrying to hold onto meWho am I?Shape shiftingI want to be meI am PhoenixPhoenix I wrote this poem, just after I wrote the blog…
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Feeling like an alien?
I am feeling stronger, I am feeling possibly the strongest I have ever felt. Yes, I am still dissociating daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes even minute by minute! There does seem to be more cohesion between myself and many other alters though. I don’t lose time like I have done in the past, unless severely triggered…
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Against The Flow
Swimming constantly upstream Against the cold and sweeping currents Arms and legs tired and heavy Struggling to keep my head up Trying for a breath as my nose lifts Stop fighting the flow Instructs the world around me How when where I need to be is upstream Relax into it instructs the universe Close my…
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Left Foot Right Foot
Left foot right foot. Heart beating faster. Left foot right foot. My lungs expanding. Left foot right foot. Filled with cold night air. Left foot right foot. The breeze in my hair. Left foot right foot. River runs by my side. Left foot right foot. Running against the tide. Left foot right foot. Don’t slow…
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Space To Grieve
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. Life has been a bit of a rollercoaster over the past few months, but things have settled down for the moment. As I continue on my healing journey feelings ebb and flow constantly. New alters are still coming forward with their experiences and pain. This quite often…
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Holding onto Hope
Life can feel so frustrating. My trauma means the same patterns happen time and time again, as new alters bring new pieces of our troubled past. More secrets unlocked, which brings sadness, fear, anxiety and cause actual body memories, in the most recent case it has led to me feeling like I am suffering from…
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Rebirth Death Rebirth.
I am a Phoenix My feathers keep me safe A plumage of protection Then memories unfold My feathers fall to the ground Exposing my skin, my soul To the searing heat of pain and truth Sometimes a memory strips all the feathers And I burn in the fire of trauma. Again I have no choice…
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A Piece about Technology and Me
I am taking a break from specifically blogging about my journey today as I’m feeling a little fragile. As I still wanted to blog, I thought I would post my thoughts on technology and gaming. I am 46 years old and have been gaming since I was about 4 years old. I started out on…
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The First Psychiatrist Appointment
In my last post Descent Into The Unknown I ended the post by saying how my world came crashing down around me and I left work permanently. For my last year at work my GP had been prescribing me Prozac for my depression. When I left work I was placed under the care of the…
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Descent Into The Unknown
The delayed post! My childhood didn’t only consist of trauma. It also consisted of confusion and blank spots. I thought I was a forgetful kid, who just wasn’t very smart! Adults especially teachers would become frustrated with me. Telling me they had told me information or had asked me to complete a task that I…
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River Watching.
I watch the flow of the river. Each dimple in the water like a smile The dimples transform to ripples Like a smile changing to a frown I feel the ebb and flow The water a reflection Of my own cascading emotions The surface looks sure and knowing But unseen is the activity below the…
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Welcome to my Journey
Hi my name is Phoenix. I’m starting this new page to write about my healing journey with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I will be writing about my experiences, my thoughts and my feelings on various topics. I will be discussing my mental health, physical health and the hobbies that help me along the way. Lets begin…
Phoenix 